I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
