dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
