I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
How's work?
Spinning.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize