you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
