Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
