I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
