Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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