It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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