I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize