and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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