The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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