she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
