Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ugly people sure do ruin things
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
