Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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