I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
