She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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