the new term for farting is butt boxing.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
