..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
