woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I will be naked everywhere
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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