i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
