if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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