were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize