By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
