David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I touched a dick in church today
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
