Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
