how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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