Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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