i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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