Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
