I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
