Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
