i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
