Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
