just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
