I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
