I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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