Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
