names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
