I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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