Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
