I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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