doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
