I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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