I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
