so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just puked most of my soul out..
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