you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
