girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
