i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
