You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
