worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
God, I missed his penis.
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