she smelled like a LAN party
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm always down for nudity.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
