Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
