it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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