Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
