he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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