Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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