She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
