I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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