yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
