We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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