The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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