One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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