White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
