I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
