and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
