hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
BRING THE BAGELS
Who died my cat blue again?
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